Participating in the workshop led by Margaret and Mary was an eye-opener for me, especially since I’ve had to make decisions in my life when all I had as a strategy was a “Pro” and “Con” list.  

I’ve known for years now that this is not the best way to make a decision, and that decision-making is rarely such a straightforward thing.  

 

The Framing of the Decision along with the option of not choosing, was a new way of thinking about the decision-making process, and I’ve used it since then in my own life and with a very good outcome. 

 

We were invited to create an attitude of respectful and impartial listening to all sides of the decision we wanted to make, to use the “Something inside me ..” prompt to pause and give space to whatever comes up.  And sometimes what comes up is that something does NOT WANT me to choose between this or that. We can ask it “What are you worried about”, and listen to what this part wishes to spare us from.  And sometimes, the answer is from an old pattern and not useful anymore, but to quiet our mind and to give it space, we can better understand and reassure it. I especially liked the "This much I do know....I can't accept any solution that means.....” when preparing to make the decision I made a week or so after the workshop and which turned out so well.  

 

We can learn to be attentive to what is emerging in us, and we can hold it in a safe space, and we can also ask for outside help (a trusted person) who can be a partner in the decision-making process, which is also what I did.  And from there, I was able to plan out the ACTION that all this enquiry was leading up to. Because, in the end, we need to act on our decision. 

 

I thank Margaret and Mary for their informative, Focusing-based workshop. These two leaders invested a lot of time and effort in the preparation of the material, slides, aids, and research. I am grateful to both for their generous offering, and I’m quite sure all the participants feel as I do.

 

Denise Durocher

Ottawa