Fiona O'Meara
Many of us come to Focusing because we are suffering. And often suffering in ways that are not easily resolved, and therefore not easy to live with. I know this was the case for me, and so when I found Focusing, I appreciated it deeply.
I also then greatly appreciated meeting other Focusers who know something of this experience. Focusing is not mainstream. You have to search to find it, or it has to find you, and so we who Focus have a shared experience.
It’s no coincidence, then, that spending a week with other Focusers at the Weeklong this June felt easy. I found myself laughing a lot, and had many stimulating conversations with people from all over the world - Australia, Morocco, Switzerland, the Netherlands and even Galway.
But I didn’t just go to meet people. The day before the Weeklong, I had a challenging meeting which triggered deep and difficult feelings for me; feelings of shame and inadequacy that made me feel small and foolish.
My first reaction was to try to deny this pathetic self. I’ve so much to be proud of! I’ve done x and y and z. But such self-talk rarely works for me. And more importantly, I knew from my Focusing work, that simply trying to ‘fix’ the feelings wouldn’t lead me anywhere new. The Weeklong held that potential for me.
How? Through group work, workshops and opportunities for short partnering twice or thrice daily. In each Weeklong, you are part of a daily home group, where a facilitator holds the space for sharing on any issue that is present for you. So you can work intensively on something present.
My home group was facilitated by Beatrice Blake who shared more of her instancing work from her Thinking at the Edge workshop. I found her steps easy to follow and surprisingly effective when I later partnered with a friend.
One person in our group was honest enough to express dissatisfaction with how we were working and his courage helped me find my own. I had thought I was being myself in the group, but I saw I was just being a polite version of myself, simply ‘putting up with’ when I could in fact express more. I found that, in this way, the home group helped me to take the risk of being myself, and not feeling shame for it. I began to play with this a little, and found the group’s supportive feedback very helpful.
In the little free time that we had, a home group member held space whilst I used the body work from Ceci Burgos’ workshop, which led to more release. And, with a former Certification classmate, our Focusing relationship deepened greatly, leading to richer partnering with one another since.
So delighted to have met many people I had heard about and seen on Zoom - Catherine Torpey, Ceci Burgos, Beatrice Blake, Marta Fabregat, and more. I really enjoyed Mary’s and Julian’s workshops.
A few weeks after the Weeklong, I met the person at the centre of my shame. I noticed my body felt very different from before. Not heavy and collapsed, but bright and full and flowing, happy to be me. I’m grateful again to Focusing and to Focusers for all the wonderful carrying forward that occurs when we sit and listen.
Group Photo at the end of the ceremony (not everyone is in it but most of us were!)
Mary Jennings presenting her workshop on the Monday evening
Tom Larkin hosting his Plenary on Focusing and Nature
Some fun in the evening
On the last evening we all shared a meal in a local restaurant
